why do i love myself more and more now

i feel so proud of myself

for the past few days i have studying and revising for common test

i so hardworking lor

today stay in school also
to study

did maths and revised a little chem

hehes

ncc camp coming
looking forward !
i get to organise games !!


i forgot to blog about an important part yesterday
so i shall make up for it

i had class photo taking session yesterday !!

from the start of this year , i realised that there were a number of tall people in this class
so i was afraid that during phototaking , i will have to sit in the front row

and guess what
my worst fears came through !

i am like the 8th person ?
out of 32 girls

thats short luhh

but i didnt really mind la
normally if i get to stand , i will be at the side

now , im in the middle
so cool

but i never sat in front before
im this short la kay

but i get to sit with mr cheng !!!!

i was like , yeah man

mr cheng is hot !
aha

crasiness is taking over me

anyway , today is kind of interesting too
i was quite in the study mode also

after school got maths lesson
so went to macs to eat first

hope my throat wont get worse
i have faith that it wont

after school came home to study again

i think im pro

studied for like 3 subjects
first it was chemistry
then maths
and finally social studies

best part , i also finished my hw

im the best man

today during chinese very pleasurable
i got back my 2 compo
the written one : 34/50 i think
teacher say good
then letter one got 32/40

see
i so smart lor

and hor
i was drawing during lessons
siqi's file got a lot of cute pics ma
so i go copy

i love the undergaments i drew
so damn cute !

im sure siqi agrees with me too !


Argh !

MSN got problem ah !!!

knn

dont feel like blogging liao

stupid msn


i had a good nights sleep yesterday
hehe

and it rained for almost a day today !

finally !
wet weather at last

and ,
my throat seem to be getting worse everyday

hais
i think i eat too much heaty stuff le

hope i can get well soon

orals are round the corner

worse , i seem to get a slitting headache now

hais

shall go sleep


roarrr

im sick again

nabeh

yesterday lor
went to celebrate grandfather's birthday

so go restaurant
its buffet style

then my family order so much
then have to eat lor

become fat liao

dies

but i kind of enjoyed it la
i need to destress what

eating is one of the ways
its tried and proven by me

anyway , sat was kind of enjoyable

i didnt want to go train ma
so just bring homework go there do

yan xiang slack with me
then teach me A maths also

so grateful for that
aha

geng lin also got help me

a lot of question he help me solve de

then i keep teasing him about siying lor
but he is not shy de

which makes it fun
lol

more open ma
got more stuff to say


not really in the mood to blog now

i switch back to studying mood today le !

yay

today not so much homework ma

only physics
its quite easy also

finish homework then i go revise
history !

i realised that i didnt really take a good look at the contents of my history textbook this year

so i just go read through and revise again lor
and i learnt new stuff !

always loved history textbook

okay
thats all

hope its a meaningful day for me tmr !


singapore won the bid for 2010 youth olympics


im back from living hell !!!

yay !!

thats like a huge relief for me

but the thing is ,
i came home yesterday night
around 9 plus

reason ?
guess

nope , not sandfly bites
the wild boar didnt chase me either

all thanks to mr sunshine lor
that caused me to be in this state

fever , headache , dizzy spells and a super horrible sore throat

the camp was a horrible total failure

since day 1 ,
there was loads of waiting

altogether i think we have wasted like 10 hours

waste my money
i demand for a refund !

must complain !

the camp trainers all malay one lor
about 5 chinese only

sian diao

then they all very wishy washy lor
nag here and there

its not like they are adults
they are just like 17 or 18 ?

oh gosh
i wonder what happened to them
so naggy

can talk and talk about the same time for hours
always like to scold us also

screw them
but the thing is , we dont even bother la

day 1 , had cycling
screw the people la

think my leg short sia
knn

give me a bicycle with a short handle
wakau

then everytime i cylce ,
keep hitting my knee

in the end got bruise
pain lor

hmph

conculsion : cycling was a failure

ohya !
the camp food sucks too !

totally horrible food

if im not wrong
the food is cooked by indians

guarentee plus chop

taste super horrible
i hate camp food !

actually , i never liked camp food la

continue then
the water there is like brown water

although it doesnt really disgust me
but i was kind of afraid to use that water

so i ended up not bathing lor
but i feel fine really

this time i brought powder and hair lotion
so i didn worry

powder myself so i wont really feel so dirty
use hair lotion so my precious hair will not spoil

i didnt have a issue with hygiene there la

the thing that irks me is the inefficientness of the camp management

it sucks to the core i tell you

loads of waiting lor

thats how i got sick yesterday

was supposed to go for trekking

but after lunch , we were just sitting in an open area with loads of sunlight
fuck them

we sat there for like 3 hours?

feel like dying lor

the first syptom that surfaced was my sore throat
then later a bit dizzy

i wanted to endure somemore

because kayaking is last day ma
i dont want to miss it

so after waiting , finally went for trekking
its like orienteering

so im like quite expert in it le la
haha

but i was already feeling unwell
not in good shape

but i still continue
cannot be a disgrace to ncc since im wearing the ncc shirt

until there's one point of time where i really felt like fainting

actually we stopped at one place to have activities la
do the human entangle thing

tried like for 3 times
then i say i dont do
because odd number ma
difficult

mr cheng came over and asked me if i was feeling alright
then i just say feel unwell lor

he made me rest at a shady area
then call for the van
to send me back to the campsite

go there le
then rest at the hut there

all the way till dinner time
slacking was actually fun

mr yeo checked my tempertature
38.1
i didnt really bother la

cos i thought i could continue
i didnt want to go home
kayaking is just the next day

but after a long while
i thought to myself

second day confirm very jialat one
esp at night

furthermore , i was sleeping in the tent
i was afraid i could not take it

when the next tempertature check was 38.3
i said i go home lor

so my mum cabbed down to changi jetty
i was afraid that my mum will say i very mafan
but she didnt
hehes

so went home

had a good bath
then went to sleep

i felt that the camp was like a nightmare to me

come to think of it
it kind of is

im relieved that im back home

nothing beats having the comfort at your own home man


hey people

i absolutely loved yst !

had dragon boating

then later go meet ronald
lol
went to watch movie PS: I Love You
that movie is sweet
but very long
dozed off lor
haha

then later go republic of singapore yatch club
aha
lol
eat dinner
then later go home lor
lol

went for church today
totally boringness
haiyo

anyway , im going for camp tmr

so thats it people
3 days not blogging le
byebye

i'll miss you !


Happy Valentines !

love is in the air

but sad to say
i didnt have a date today

but its alright
at least i had some gifts

anyway , my toes are swollen again
this time without even putting a plaster on

i guess my feet is super sweaty
so must put powder

should have heeded the doctors advice
now hope it will heal

so i can go for camp
but i got a bad feeling about this

my mouth really very cursed lor

few weeks back
i was thinking

maybe my toe will get swollen again
so no need to go for camp

and now
it seems to come true

die liao
i got a bad feeling about this

anyway , tmr going out with jastine and charmaine
first go make charmaine's IC
then go bugis
then go queesnway
and more

tiring day ahead
and looking forward

happy valentines again


hiya people

its definitely a much better day today !
hehes

melli tan is back in action !

stayed back to study today
with charmaine and jastine
sit at the bench near staff room

we damn pro lor
use two benches all for ourselves

we are super messy people
chuck stuff everywhere

aha !

studied all the way till 5.30
on our way to lot one , it rained

sian diao

so anyway , we went to lot one
got my new YELLOW file from popular

then jastine went to find valentines gift
for stanely's gf

he damn cheapo lor
budget $5-10
i'll kill him if he's my bf

but anyway ,
we didnt bother about his budget
used the $20 he gave

bought this couple monkey
super cute lor !
and also a fake stalk of rose
i like that shade of pink
unique , sweet and nice

make me jealous

tmr valentine le
i got no date leh

so sad
crestfallen

but its okay

anyway , i shall go off le
must sleep earlier

so have more jing shen tmr
hehes


nothing much to talk about

my holiday mood didnt seem to fade

which means that i can continue slacking liao
dies

what is my world going into man
i can forget about my new year's resolution liao

so much for studying hard
im not even pushing myself lor

now no motivation to go to school
last time i know that im having history lessons today

which makes me go so excited
because i look forward to a fun lesson with loads of jokes

now barely laugh during lessons

last time enthu , always kajiao richard and subhan
now , no mood liao

people will be hearing less jokes or laughter from me in class

recently more sleepy in class also
feel like sleeping also

everyday i wake up to prepare for school
keep thinking , why do i have to go through this shit

why must i go to school

WHY ?!

'so that i can get a good job in the future'
'nowdays you no cert equals to not having a good job'

rubbish

having a good job is good because you earn high income
enjoy good benefits , privilledges and stuff

in the end
its all about money right

so why go to that extend to get a piece of paper just to earn you good money

you just need to be financial literate
but that doesnt mean you have to know everything in the world

so in conclusion
why study so much ??!!
when in the end , the knowledge will be used to earn you $$$$$

i see no point

someone enlighten me

dont give me the 'its for your interest' shit

i really dont want to study
just feel like slacking

today got maths test
graph
i confirm get 0
big fat zero
told my maid to prepare to fry egg for me le

was kind of sleepy today
so just do the test half heartedly
then got one sign wrong
minus[-] sign lor
then my whole equation wrong

affect my whole graph
so im prepared to fail

tell you something
i am not really affected by it at all

i was like
fail then fail lor
heck care

i cant be bothered

true
recently , always dont bother about stuff

dont want to blog le
so i shall end my whinings


you're my sunshine , my only sunshine
you make me happy , when skies are grey
you never know dear , how much i love you
please dont take my sunshine away

been kind of busy the past few days
loads of visitings
freaking tired
everyday wake up , feel like sleeping again

as i said , this year no festive mood
so i get angbao also not excited
nothing excites me

yesterday go godparents and auntie's house
walau
my godsister becomes prettier every year
envious lor
almost couldnt recognise her this year

i want to thank my auntie
hehes
she talking about me having boyfriend
keep telling my mum its normal de
i should go get one
ahahaha
hope those words open my mum's mind

its monday
monday blues leh
totally didnt feel like going to school

every step i walk , i became further from home
as i walked further , thoughts of running back home became stronger
reluctance , boredom , tiredness , sleepiness , clouded my mind

what happened to the enthusiasm that i had when school reopened
the love and passion for learning
the burning spirit i had to go to school
the confidence i had that i could study hard

where did all these went to ?

all i have now is just tiredness
everything also sian sian
no heart to do

I HATE SCHOOL !

so much homework to do everyday
barely a day i can put my mind off work
correction
its
there's never a day i can put my mind of work
NEVER A DAY

someone please tell me how i can put a stop to all these
im really tired


happy new year !

aha
its chinese new year
loads of free money up for grabs

its the favourite time for money faced people like me
yeah man

but dont know why
this time i got no festive mood

thank my dear teachers lor
homework so many
kanina

2 chemistry worksheets ,
physics workbook
chinese is the worse
4 newspaper article
plus one compo

what the hell

worse still
i've got 4 tests waiting for me when school reopens

monday maths test (graph)
tuesday chemistry test
wednesday emaths test
thursday bionomial theorem

pity me

anyway ,
later relatives coming over my house
looking forward
baha

gambling time


training today
i think i really slack liao
never darken boots
never iron uniform nicely
never sew new rank
everything also dont care

it was actually my official training today
because last time cant wear shoes
so just sit there throughout
but , in the end it was not
confused ?
dont worry
you will understand later

started with a tough PT
actually not really tough
which is kind of surprising
did all the usual stuff lor
but the miraculous thing is ,
i kind of leaded
because got punishment ma
then must ask for punishment and stuff
dont know why everyone so slow one
i scared later kana more
so i faster lead in asking lor
lol
which is kind of cool
because i never did it before
normally for pumpings , its the guys lead ma

do all the stretching then go running
haha
cool
i didnt find it tough
actually okay lor
maybe because my stamina there liao
but still got some cannot take it
sian
or else can ask the senior to go faster liao

anyway , after PT was games
we played something like rugby
but we used a netball instead
haha
didnt really enjoy it
but was kind of enthu at first
then gadually sian liao

second game was captains ball
this time i a bit tired lor
so not really very enthu
heck care type

after that must go change into uniform
that was when attifah realised her phone was missing
then another guy also lost
khamarul lor
they were certain they brought it to school
lol
so we go report to senior
in the end they call the sec2s also
gather outside ncc room
conduct bag check
at the same thing
check if anyone lost something
in the end
someone lost addidas watch
got one sec2 lost phone also

poor thing
lucky i never kana

but my instict tells me that its someone
cannot reveal la

then after discussion among the sec4s
they also got some evidence ans suspect

then the suspect is the one i suspected too
wa seh
my instinct pro lor
hehes

spent the rest of the training checking ans stuff
so dont need to do footdrills

hurray
shiok lor


anyway
was kind of worn out from the straineous training

but nevertheless ,
i did my homework after i came home
so finished those that were due on next week le
yay

satisfied


recently not really crazy about blogging liao
althought the thought of chatting online still tempt me (:

school is getting tougher and tougher for me
sometimes really losing motivation to study

just feel like giving up
be a good for nothing
dont want to do homeowork anymore
just go school listen to teacher can liao
walau

but for some unknown reason ,
something just spurred me on

keep telling me to continue
cannot give up

maybe because im always afraid of stuff by nature
scared teacher scold , teacher punish , mother scold
cowardly
its rare to see me talk back to teachers
actually , there was never the occassion that i rebelled against my teachers
mother have la
but after a few words , scared liao
become silent
scared cannot beaten . scolded , chided
then cry
aiya , everytime rebel i confirm will cry one lor
scold my sister or brother also the same
i will end up being at the disadvantage
what the hell

today mr yeo made me stay back after school
to do maths
because i didnt do work today
so have to finish it and do some extra exercises lor
although i dont really like it ,
but it made me realised something
i work well in the school environment
and when im doing my work in school ,
i will not daydream
just concentrate on getting my work done
dont know how to do , start to ask people

wow
i think my method of learning is really changing
last time it used to be independant learning
but now
i have my reservations
maybe its good if i have a study group
actually , i already thought of it long ago
but , confirm cannot one
mother lor
like so selfish
lol
make me study myself
dont know then hire tutor
as if
i figured out that my stinginess and selfishness was probably derived from my mum
its only natural for a child to follow the way and nature of her parents ma
its true that parents are role models
hais

eg . dad+mum likes talking loudly , always talk on the top of their voice over a trival matter
'talk like want to fight like that'
thats what my mum said about me
which i know is true
i know i have this la , but its just so hard for me to change
even my student pointed that out to me
i hope they wont get influenced by me
or i'll feel really guilty

hais , no choice
i dont get to pick my parents
its fate
bobian
want to run away from it also cannot

but i want a little more freedom
just a bit more
like maybe , let me off to go study with friends ?
or sometimes go meet friends whom i havent met for a long while ?

i dont mind the naggings la
like everytime must do homework , everytime use com , stop slacking around
im used to it already la
although it gets on my nerves at times

read about this blogger
and im really envious of her lor
maybe if i have this much freedom ,
i would go overboard la

im a person who has lousy time management
and also cant control letting my emotions taking over me

eg. want to do homework , study hard after school
my dear brain is very cooperative
but my dearest heart says no
how ?
i follow my dearest lor

ended up slacking around at home
take super long amount of time doing work
just cant help but daydream
its just fill my mind
i cant help it
like yst , bent on finishing my newspaper article which is due today
spent the whole day writing it out
what the fuck
i spent 4 hours writing a piece of shit
something that i think isnt really that good

i dont know what going on with me man ..

ncc tmr
recently feel so slack
dont even want to go
but i paiseh
and again ,
scared scolding
so just go lor
i waited so long for this
to be a senior
so i can scold the juniors
aha
im not going to let it go by a moment of impulse man
not worth it
never worth

god , save me